New life motto: I AM Princess Leia

Today in therapy, I discussed my hatred for myself.

And in simplest terms, I view myself as a bad guy. I cause more harm than good, I feel like I’m a burden to everyone, and I know that if I could just be better – I would make everyone else’s life better too.

In a lot of ways, I feel like Darth Vader. I am mostly evil and selfish. I turned to the dark side, and I am a burden and a harm to everyone I meet.

My therapist listened to me and asked me, if I could be any character in Star Wars, who would I be?

Without question, I would be Princess Leia. She’s strong and brave. She’s beautiful. She’s sarcastic and funny. She’s honest. She is in charge. She can lead. She can do and be whoever she wants to be. She will fight for what she believes is right.

If I could be any character, I would be Leia. Instead, I feel like I’m Darth Vader.

So my homework this week, and my new life motto to tell myself on the hard days: I am Princess Leia.

I AM PRINCESS LEIA.

YOU ARE PRINCESS LEIA.

WE ARE PRINCESS LEIA.

Depression can be Darth Vader, but I will be Leia.

 

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My truths for the bad days.

I’ve been pretty good with my progress so far. I moved here nearly two years ago and have since gotten a job(s), an apartment, a car, and can generally make it on my own.

However, I’ve realized lately that every day I am successful in something, I still struggle and fall backwards too.

My progression and growth is constantly going up and down. I climb up the mountain for days and days and days, and then one day I slip and I fall back a couple steps.

Today is one of those days.

Continue reading “My truths for the bad days.”

What it’s like actually living with depression.

Here’s another one of those posts. It’s Mental Health Week, and as someone suffering from mental health disorders, as someone who has seen them from family members my whole life, I think it’s finally my turn to share my story.

I know you’ve probably read a lot of posts about how crippling depression can be. And while yes, it is crippling, that’s not really where I’m going with this post, so bear with me.

Continue reading “What it’s like actually living with depression.”