It’s been a long time since I’ve posted on my blog. A long, long time. I told myself that I would use this as a way of coping with my mental illness – but instead, I’ve pushed it back into the hole I push all of my hobbies and interests into.
What many people don’t really understand about mental illness is how the mind tricks you into doing things that hurt you even more. There are days where I can’t get out of bed until the afternoon or night. There are days where I don’t put pants on, brush my teeth or hair, or leave my house once. There are days where my willpower isn’t even enough to turn on the tv to distract myself. There are days where I literally do nothing but stare at the wall or ceiling and cry. And every time I have one of those days, I know that doing nothing at all hurts it more. But sometimes it’s easier to let your mind win and just suffer.
And today, I’m just not going to let my mind win again.